i finished my christmas list i can’t wait

  • $ 1,000,000 in cash
  • boyfriend
  • the souls of those who have displeased me this year
  • another boyfriend in case my other one escapes
  • money

(Source: dumbledorathexplora, via idrathermakemistakes-thannothing)

foxnewsofficial:

i get so affectionate when i’m sleepy it’s disgusting

(via dad-hat)

celibacy:

Have you ever said so much bullshit you were actually shocked anyone believed you?

(via idrathermakemistakes-thannothing)

bellecosby:

whoa-bruh:

bellecosby:

My goal in life is to make a nigga feel the way Terrance Howard was feeling when Beyonce was giving him a lap dance 

image

SAME.

NEW GOAL

image

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I’M TRYNA HAVE A NIGGA QUESTIONING HIS WHOLE LIFE EXISTENCE LIKE NICKI HAD DRAKE AFTER SHE GAVE HIM A LAPDANCE 

(via kissmycollarbone)

yeezus-fish:

when a stupid slut asks if there’s going to be a swimming pool
image

(via notenuf)

thisisradioactive:

When you make a reference and someone actually gets it

image

(via forgave)

ssweet-dispositionn:

inbalanced:

that random moment when you suddenly remember someone who is no longer in your life and it feels like a knife through the chest

Whoa

(via imsmilingthroughmysadness)

laddersoftherain:

queermagicalgirls:

condesces:

i find my cosmic insignificance reassuring

the stars don’t fucking care who i am or what i do

i owe the universe nothing

i exist on my own terms

#the galaxy dont care that u messed up the thing that one time

#when existentialism becomes comforting rather than horrifying

(via sociopathintheimpala)

harmonizingly:

The people who come running to hug you after you haven’t seen them in awhile are my favorite type of people.

(via sleeping-with-no-one)